I knew more
than I know now
No…wait…
I still know as many
but I think of none
I have embraced this familiar ailment
unconsciously even though I remember
how it was before
Without it I was fun and
appealing and wanted in
the midst of all activity and
flamboyant and present always in
the minds of my friends and
full of vigour and life and
desires that I shared and was privy to and
open and honest but
never myself
Lack of traffic leads to it
In that zone appear
great thoughts and many
ifs and would-bes
Each time with increased
self disgust but also recognition
of it
The laugh is cruel and within
and reminds me of all that
I still won’t do
Until the next ride then
The little boy smears across it
Older hands waving and grappling
But never together or when so
Too strong and vehement
Here and gone and here
The rhythms are very personal
And different and cherished
The tallest aren’t the fairest or the wisest
They belong in separate frames
Only arched ivory borders for them
Something’s amiss
The little boy is too quick and too young
He invites me but I cannot abandon this
If I were empty
or obvious
It would be easier
to float
and hold sway
Your presence
“A perfect day marred with sudden clouds
That streak across and linger
Not long enough for recognition
Coming and departing at will”
Is that what you meant, I ask him
But now his back stoops and eyes dim
The shadow enslaves him for a bit
Leaving him dazed and bitter
While I suppress my smile
A True Sentence 