Tag Archives: thoughts

If I May Say So…

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I could give it a name,
the name corresponding to it,
but we don’t seem to do so anymore.

I may take the long way around,
come at it from all sides,
picking and prodding until
it lays tired, naked and defeated.

But realize it isn’t the same
as deliberate obscurantism,
as making language counter-productive,
for fear of well meant but ill directed labels.

Your modernity is regressing,
afraid of all it once despised,
stumbling over the morality
of things easily resolved by conscience.

Let’s all laugh once again,
without hesitance or shame,
at the dreariest of all despairs,
at the holiest of all doctrines….

and disregard the reproach
of those on whom the
importance of intention is lost.

The Consolation

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Know that my feet are still kicking
and if you look hard enough
you might see my tired eyes
devouring frantically while they stay
above this surface below which lies
all I never wished to be accustomed to

I do return each night – kicking,
breaking through for a little while,
trying to not recognize the reluctance
that questions the pretense
of a self-regulated time bound struggle

I was told that I am
ill-prepared for the privilege of living,
always too afraid and uncertain,
forever invested in trivial concerns

Yet it is the recognition of these inclinations,
which make sense only in light of immortality,
that pushes me to prolong this experiment

Is there any consolation in defying ignorance,
only to acquire the knowledge of certain failure?

I have a feeling we’ll discover there is

The Dialogue

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How rampantly I seem to be progressing!
There are questions to be answered
and I am now part of the rhetoric
that can answer them.
Imagine that!

I don’t need you to remind me
of what I used to say
or belittle even,
as if memory was the problem
or in any way the solution.

But let’s not talk about solutions.

Lies, I have discovered, only need consistency
and positive reinforcements,
well abetted by the doubts that I
am not ready to give the requisite time to
or garner enough courage to face.

Again, with your admonishments – stop!
and realize that you are simply a weak manifestation
of a dwindling urge that is too sporadic to matter;
a dull self appeasing distraction
that is too dependent on its own failure.

So isn’t it better if I focus towards where I am going?
Even if I still need your medium to convince myself,
which if nothing else does remind me
how comfortable I seem with contradictions
and how well aware of my own hypocrisy.

Yesterday’s Ephiphany

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If only I were still a bystander
and mock those deeply entrenched
in the purportedly essential games
of daily life

Instead I use these feeble
and intermittent attempts
to find a certain solace behind
the thin veil of delusion

I couldn’t possibly be scraping at the bottom;
That’s a cowardly thought and
a surrender to the pervasive lethargy
that is so easily blamed on the times

If nothing else, I realize that
the old adage about work over ability
holds well in an attention deficit world
even if only till I choose to remember it